Depravity of Man
Usually, I don’t like to talk about sensitive issues especially when it has to do with sexual harassment and gender bias. Sometimes we don’t understand how bad things have gotten in the society. This is a recent personal experience that I can’t forget, it makes me feel defiled and dirty which I know is psychological and no matter how hard I try to take my mind away off it, I can’t forget.
This happened two or three days ago, I had gone out with my friend to work and we were about to take a cab back home. A man was directly behind her and he probably didn’t know I was behind him, he slapped her butt, I slapped him in retort and was really angry at his guts, I mean why would you just hit a lady like that?! My friend had no idea what had happened, she thought someone had just brushed past her, she joined me in scolding the man but thought he had done something to me.
We got in the same cab, when he dropped he put his tongue out as the car drove away. The people in the car understood what had happened, they had thought that he made a mistake.
The next day I was traveling back home, I had to sit with a man who had a terrible body odor but nice attitude and all, I told myself it was only for two hours, I can bear it. The windows were open and so it was bearable, I slept off shortly at a point only to wake up to this man feeling my left breast. I was so angry that I screamed at him and warned him, I couldn’t hit him because of how tight the car was, he wanted to deny it but he probably saw that I was ready to throw hands, I was going to tell the driver to stop so I can give him a dirty slap. I was fuming with anger and frustrated that I couldn’t vent because of the teeny tiny car.
I don’t understand it, why are some people so depraved that they make use of every little opportunity to take advantage of others. I felt dirty and unclean, it didn’t matter how many times I bath, I can’t get his scent off my head, the scene keeps replaying in my head over and over and I keep getting mad over and over.
This gives you a hint into what people who have survived rape and other forms of sexual harassment go through, the dirt doesn’t rub off, it’s like an imprint. Your body is one of the most private things about you and when someone takes that without your permission, it can cause a lasting damage.
People say don’t live in the past, it makes me wonder if people think they enjoy living in the past, it is not as easy as it sounds.
The past follows you like a ghost, you try to forget but the simplest things remind you of your worst nightmares, sometimes you look in the mirror and you don’t want to face yourself because you think that there is something you did wrong.
I have had so many experiences with perverts and there are girls who haven’t even encountered one, then you wonder if there is something about you that attracts sexual predators. You cover up, they come for you, you fight for yourself they still come for you. You keep quiet, they come for you.
This act is a common norm among sexual predators, they see themselves as strong but in reality are cowards who can’t understand the meaning of boundaries, who don’t know that one single action might damage a girl forever.
Even if you follow the world’s rules and be a good girl, depravity is everywhere… What to do?? People don’t care as long as it doesn’t concern them? How do you take that power back? The past is not a place to live in but when it won’t leave you, how do you cope?!. What would it take for this to end? I keep blaming myself for sleeping but what Crime have I done for sleeping? Why do I have to feel guilt for a depraved man’s actions?! When will enough be enough?! I don’t know and I don’t have the perfect answer to give survivors or other women who go through these things but can’t speak up. Know this though, fighting back gives you a bit of your power back, you can do it, depraved men are not monsters or made of Nightmares, they are just weak sick men with no real strength of their own.
This goes both ways, to women to harass men sexually especially young boys; Shame on you! To men who do the same to young girls and women; Shame on you!!! Karma might hit you later than you’d expect but it’ll come, just wait and see.