FROM MY HEART 1

FROM MY HEART

 

From the first time I saw her,

I knew I would settle for no other;

A girl of mischief and my sister’s friend and partner,

In teasing me as a younger brother.

No one took me seriously.

That’s cute, she said;

But you’ll be only thirteen in July.

And you’ll be sixteen in December.

Wait for me,

I always told her.

 

When I clocked Eighteen, I confessed to her for the third time,

Twenty-one and her dimpled smile,

She sighed… Let it go,

We are never going to happen.

She tapped my head.

I watched her go through the motions.

From Champ with the big head to Samson with the tiny teeth,

She dated them all.

And I had to watch, never giving up.

I knew one day; she’ll recognize me as her one true love.

 

I was twenty-one, and I tried my luck again.

This time, she said yes.

My joy knew no bounds,

I was happy that I screamed so loud.

I should have known,

She had those eyes,

Those mischievous eyes.

I didn’t care if I died on this day,

At least, I would have died happy and whole.

 

Our first date,

She dragged me to the zoo;

I was terrified of snakes,

But for her,

I was ready to face even the creepiest of them all.

She wanted to see one in particular,

A python,

I wanted to prove that I was man enough,

So, I followed her through the door.

 

One step in,

Filled with fear but I made it five steps,

I heard claps and giggles from behind,

I turned and there they were;

My sister and her friends.

I told you I could get him to do anything.

My first love had said without remorse.

My sister paid her and shook her head at me.

You should have known better…

My sister said and left us behind.

 

She turned to follow them out,

I held her.

I don’t understand,

I whispered…

She looked at me with pity,

I told you… We cannot work;

This was a prank,

To prove that you would do anything for me.

Was everything a lie?

I asked with a calmness I didn’t feel.

Common, wasn’t it funny?

She grinned and left me behind.

Lost, broken and alone.

I felt a change in me that I could not yet understand.

 

I pretended that day never happened;

Surely, she’ll know…

Just how much I feel for her.

No one could ever compare.

Five years after, she asked me out.

I refused to get carried away this time.

It was the first time I had ever seen her take me seriously.

I wondered what was different.

She said, she wanted a change of pace.

Two years we dated, two years I thought was a dream,

Finally, I proposed and she agreed with a smirk of victory.

 

There we were,

About to be joined,

I stared into her eyes as I give my vow.

Not today Ini, I won’t get married to you.

This day five years ago, you crushed my heart and it never mended,

My love turned into a hate so hot that it burnt my soul.

Every smile you have taken from me,

I wanted to take back,

Each moment I spent pining for you;

I wanted it all back,

I thought about getting married to you and giving you the worst experience of your life;

But when I saw your eyes,

I knew then,

You never loved me.

I had only been a way to prove your point.

At the end, you are not worth any more of my time.

From my heart,

All I have for you is a love turned,

I can’t wish you joy,

At least until I have found my peace.

I walked away but not before I saw the determination in her eyes.

This is not over, they seemed to say.