From my Heart 2
I knew something was wrong,
The way he looked at me was different;
I ignored it,
Like I do everything else that I don’t understand.
As I stand in my wedding dress;
Being left alone at the altar,
I understand…
That look that I ignored,
The all too familiar look,
It was how my father looked at me;
Like he hated me.
I thought I had found the one,
The person who would love me even through my odds;
Not surprising I was wrong,
I was never one to figure out what people meant by hurt;
Right now, in this hall…
My chest tightens and for the first time,
I feel a pain in my heart,
It cuts deep,
Deeper than anything I have felt;
Even deeper than my fondness for him.
I scan the hall,
Filled with pity looks and some of it mockery;
His family burdened with guilt,
Based on their ability to not look at me;
I grin and I think it comes out as a wince,
Judging by the tears in his sister’s eyes;
I smirk and pull myself together.
It’s alright,
I take off my veil and grin widely,
There is so much to eat and drink;
Please help yourself,
I just have to change out of this dress in white.
I say to the crowd.
The silence that greets me is deafening,
I pretend not to be affected;
I change to a jean and a big shirt,
I sit beside the cake with my plate filled with delicacies;
I ignore the glances from his parents,
I understand that they don’t know how to react;
If I had cried,
At least, they would be able to comfort me;
I won’t give him that satisfaction,
I might not know a lot about expressions of love,
But I know plenty about hate and revenge;
He thinks he has the final say?
From my heart,
I assure him with a promise;
This is far from over.
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