I feel unsettled today, and the weather agrees with me. As I sit here and look into Bogum’s eyes, I know it, deep down inside of me that he is going to break up with me.
“It’s okay, you can say whatever you want to say, I don’t bite,” Bogum smiles nervously. That smile that was about to wreck me completely, that smile I once thought beautiful. In a false state of equanimity, I urge him to talk to me. His lips are moving but I can’t hear a single word, why? I need my heart to stop pounding so fast, I say to myself as I try to be sagacious.
“I’m sorry, what did you say? I was preoccupied.”
Bogum looks discouraged, “I haven’t been honest with you about something, I’ve tried several times, but there wasn’t a good time, I’m not trying to be a nuisance but I’m really trying to be courageous right now,” he takes a deep breath, drinks a glass of water and stares at me. “There’s no way to say this kindly, let’s break up.”
I burst out laughing, not that sweet laughter but like that of a crazy woman. I get up and smile at him, “Okay, have a nice life!” I turn to walk out, away from him before I do something embarrassing like cry.
“That’s it? Okay? Have a nice life?” Bogum screams at me. “Four years of our lives and you say okay???? This is why I’m breaking up with you, you are like a robot! No emotions, just a piece of body suit. Are you even human?” He bursts out in tears, and my heart breaks into pieces. Is this what I am now? Someone who takes every good thing from a man and turns him into a mumbling mess?
As I walk back to him, ignoring the crowd we have drawn our way, I whisper to him, “Simply because there are no tears in my eyes, it doesn’t mean I don’t cry. Just because I don’t say the words you want to hear doesn’t mean I loved you less, you have never understood me. I hope Tosin gives you everything you want, you should have been a man and be upfront with me. Cheating on me? That’s just cliché,” I turn and walk out of the Restaurant.