Lost

 

“It’s alright, it’s alright….”

(Lyrics from Chai’s Oh My Angel, one of the soundtracks of the Kdrama; Angel’s Last Mission: Love.)
But is it really alright?

As a child I wanted to be so many things, but growing up, I keep wondering what exactly my purpose in life is.
As a high school teenager I thought, I would have everything figured out when I’m an adult. Hitting legal adulthood in Uni, I thought, just a while longer, I will figure things out when I’m done with school.
I’ve been done with school for years now and I’m working, still I haven’t figured jack out yet.
But what is the percentage of people out there people who have everything figured out?

I’m not denying that they exist. Those people who have found their place and are already running their race with determination. But what about people like me? I read online that people should follow their passion, but what is mine? How do people find their passion anyway? They say passion is what brings you happiness. I’m happy lazing at home, watching TV, eating, and living in fantasy Island while creating scenarios for my next piece of writing.
So is my passion being a homebody?

People say I’m still young, I have time on my side and everything will be fine when I’m 30, but I’m pushing that age rapidly and it’s scary. Even if I’m not, do I really want to wait that long? Who am I? What am I here for? What is my purpose? How do I find that purpose?

Right now I think I’ve found something I really want to pursue, but I’m scared. Should I just stay in my comfort zone or should I put myself out there and chase after my newly found goal? I think, what if it doesn’t work out…..but then what if it does? So many what ifs, so many questions, and I don’t have all the answers. But then, nobody does. That’s life.

There are so many opportunities on the other side of fear, all that’s needed is that one step. The beginning is usually the hardest part, but once that step is taken, I believe the rest will begin to fall in place.

I don’t think I’m fully ready yet, nevertheless, I’m committing myself to taking that one step. With my eyes focused on what lies ahead, I’ll take a deep breath as I pick up my pace and run. Keep running till I reach and go beyond that point where the clouds and the sea become one. When I can become one with my dreams, maybe, just maybe then will I find happiness and fulfilment.